If the French Laundry and
Whole Foods had a love child... You'd wind up with the Green Grocer. For Windsor, not a bad baby.

Having shopped there frequently, enjoying the duck burritos, produce, protein, and Joe's cooking advice, my wife and I decided to check out their dinner service. On a Friday night, we rolled over to the tucked away gem hiding in Windsor's town green, near a great restaurant called Odyssey.

We sit down, get brought our still water and the menu perusing begins. After asking for Joe's recommendations we start what turned out to be a fantastic meal. Before the food arrives Joe brings over a glass of Preseco for both of us. Then an amuse bouche. Yeah, you read that right. In theory we are in a grocery store. The difference being the owners/ accomplished chefs. We get a beautiful presented plate of pickled green onions in red wine vinegar and what appear to be water lilies. It all tased fresh and perfect for a starter.

Then some amzing bread got brought over... and devoured. We both ordered the three course, three pour tasting dinner. At $33 each, this is a crazy steal. My wife started with the asparagus soup, because she is a lover of the pee altering vegetable that happens to be in season. With Joe's recommendation, I began with the beet and goat cheese raviolis (pictured above).

Three sweet pillows of pasta free ravioli lay in front of me, topped with candied walnuts and micro greens. I had to ward off my wife's fork. Amazing. Her asparagus soup with morel dumplings and I believe truffle oil also had a nice flavor and was also tasty, but the dumpling texture was slightly disturbing. Think of a brown, squishy lump floating in your soup bowl (albeit a tasty brown lump). The wine pairings worked well with both dishes.

Next, her two little crab cakes appeared with a grapefruit, citrus aioli and some micro greens. Despite being slightly enamored with my steak, I did managed to try one of these and it was quite good. Not your typical crab cake, which tend too have too much in the way of bread crumbs and not enough crab. The crab tasted fresh and everything on the plate was beautifully presented. As she savored her crustacean cakes, I devoured a plate of flank steak with asparagus. Perfectly cooked to medium rare. At this point, we were both full and borderline tipsy, which is why, unfortunately, I can't remember the wines that he paired our food with at this point.

The last dish arrived and for me it was a rack of lambed served with a white bean puree. My wife had the pulled pork sandwich on a cheddar scallion, which turned out to be a little to spicy for her liking. Turns out the pulled pork is done with a jalepeno rub, which I thought was great, but left Jenny searching for a water refill. The night ended exactly as it started, with impressively prepared food and wine pairings in a friendly, casual environment. For me, what separates this place from other restaurants around here are the people behind the counter. They are passionate about good food and quality local ingredients and they are more than willing to impart some knowledge to you if you ask. My hope is that the Green Grocer will be here to stay (where else can I get a duck burrito and french pressed coffee on a Saturday morning).

How do you f'up simple Irish food? Good question, go to Pattersons in Windsor and find out.

For starters, I dig good pub food. I'd even go as far as to say I love good pub food. Now that I've said that, every experience I've had (along with every other person I know who's been in there) at Patterson's has been horrible, bordering on "stick my finger down my throat like a super model" horrible.

I recently met some friends there on a Friday night. Arriving early, I took a seat at the bar and ordered a vodka tonic. It arrived and I paid. Two minutes later the bar tender came up and said I owed her $5 for the drink. I told her I paid for it two minutes ago, still having the change sitting loosely in my pocket I showed her. I even pointed out the tip she took from right in front of me 30 seconds ago. Her response- " Well it's not in the computer honey." Thankfully a guy sitting a few stools down vouched for me and she backed down.

Fast forward 30 minutes- friends arrive, sitting at the bar, ready to order food. The bar tender takes their drink orders and low and behold, 5 minutes later, after already paying, she comes back and asks for money for the drinks. WTF?! It was borderline comical at this point. I was seriously beginning to question my sanity and the bar tenders.

I reluctantly order, knowing full well that everything I have ever ate here simply sucked. Either overcooked, not cooked properly, not seasoned or just plain tasted like butt. The only consistently decent thing might be the fries and beer (hence the 2 stars). What's mind boggling is that they are serving simple food... it's not that hard!

My shepards pie shows up in record time- literally 7-8 minutes after I order it... that's like fast food fast. I'm already nervous. The mashed potatoes on top were not crispy at all (fyi-that picture above I nabbed off of Yelp... some one was lucky enough to have a decent looking Shepards pie, which they aptly called beef pot pie in their review), but the scary surprise that was underneath was far worse... Shepards pie is normally ground lamb with some peas, carrots, some herbs, maybe a little red wine, chicken broth and Worcester. Then topped with mashed potatoes and tossed in the oven or under the broiler.

As I peeled back the funky potatoes that blanketed the top of this dish a small smile crept up. "They actually f$!%ed up Shepard pie..." That's sad. Under the blankets laid a thick greyish pool of carrots, 3 pieces of cubed beef (why... oh yeah, laziness... the jackass chef probably cut off a few chunks from my friends steak sandwich and threw it in there) and chunks of potatoes. Oh yeah, you read that right. Chunks of potatoes in a "stew" topped with mashed potatoes... Are your f'ing joking. Swear to god, I've seen cat food that looks (and probably tastes better) than this pile in front of me. The saving grace... 4 more vodka tonics... one being a freebie from the forgetful, amnesiac bartender- "So I noticed you didn't eat much of your dinner honey?" Me- "Yeah, it taste like poop. That's not how Shepards pie is suppose to be made. This is an Irish pub right?" Her- " Yeah, it's not my favorite either. How bout a drink on the house." That saved them from a one star rating....

I might sound like an a'hole or food snob, but in all honesty, that place has to be the worst place in Windsor to eat at. I'll eat at the taco truck or have Joe make me something at the Green Grocer any day over eating at Pattersons.

As a drinking establishment, it's not bad. Over priced drinks, but still not bad. Problem is we don't have a lot of options here in Windsor. Hopefully if you're brave enough to venture in there your bar tender will remember you paid... and if you're lucky... she won't recommend the shepards pie.

Mirepoix Review- Windsor, CA.

Having lived in Windsor the past few years, I've had the opportunity to develop a few favorite establishments, including Odyssey, the Green Grocer and Mirepoix.

The latter I visited with my wife on a none to special Wednesday night. Making a 6pm reservation, we entered the once was house turned Michelin star worthy French bistro.

With a bottle of Adobe Road 2006 Pinot Noir in hand, we were promptly seated in the corner booth; one other table was occupied. After reviewing the menu and debating between the sweetbreads or the beef tartare for appetizers we made our decision and our waiter cracked open the bottle of Pinot.

We started with the frites ($6, **** out of *****), which were just as I remembered them- bordering on perfection, but slightly over salted. I believe they are first blanched in water, cooled, then double fried. Either way, they were just as frites should be.



Then my tartare arrived. Steak tartare with crab ($13, ****), croutons and a perfectly cooked egg. The presentation perfect, the beef appropriately seasoned and all the components worked well together. This was the second best dish we had that. The dish was delicate and refined, not over whelming like some tartares can be and the toasted quail egg added another layer of needed texture to the dish. It's hard to find a good restaurant that does steak tartare this well.

As I ravaged my plate of tartare, my wife poked a way at a green salad with preserved Meyer lemons, goat cheese and vinaigrette ($8, ***). As the waiter presented the prixe fixe menu ($26) my wife took fancy to the salad he described and asked if she could get that separately, which he said would be no problem. The flavors were good and she was particularly impressed with the sweetness of the lemon rinds. Overall though the salad consisted of a total of 8 greens... Not quite worth it and we both chuckled as the minuscule plate of greenage arrived at the table. To put it into context, for the same price you get a serious plate of butter lettuce or a large caesar salad. This salad was more of an amuse bouche, simply on a plate rather than a tidy spoon.

The main courses arrived about 30 minutes after our apps were finished. Having finished our bottle of wine (we had been there for about 75 minutes) we asked for the wine list. My duck confit with fennel raviolis and spring peas appeared ($17, **), nicely presented with the bright green of the spring peas popping out on the white plate. Mirepoix has a nightly special and this was Wednesdays grand finale. The duck was perfectly cooked, as you'd expect of a duck leg roasting in glorious duck fat- crispy, salty and delicious. The problems arose when I took a bite of all the components combined. There was an underlining taste of vinegar and bitterness which didn't work well with the sweetness of the peas (my wife cringed on her initial bite... she didn't ask for seconds). And the raviolis, while not bad on there own, didn't mesh well with the other ingredients (and there were only two raviolis on the plate- it invoked plate envy as I looked over at my neighbor and their towering plate of mussels and frites). The peas were a nice balance and their freshness helped offset the dark, richness of the duck. Too bad they had to sauce the plate. A little herb oil might have done the trick.

The pork shank with creamed brussel sprouts and butternut squash gratin, which I had begged my wife to order was "Oh Face" inducing ($23, *****). Slightly crispy on the outside and perfectly braised fork tender pork that fell off the bone. The portion was huge, which permitted me to graze on it freely. This was by far the best dish of the night. The brussel sprouts were perfectly cooked and were not the soggy sadness that you might expect when dealing with creamed vegetables.

After finished our entrees, the waiter finally came by and asked about the wine list he had dropped off 30 minutes ago. I politely mentioned that since we were done eating I wasn't interested in another glass of wine. He quickly brought over a half glass of wine on the house. Very thoughtful.

Overall, it was a nice way to spend 2 hours- eating away at classic French fare tucked inside the warmth of a small, cozy house turned bistro. The food is the most consistent element to the Mirepoix dining experience. The service though is a slightly different story. Each time I've dined here, there is a certain snooty element, especially from the head female waiter (same one we've had the last few times) that puts a damper on the overall impression. It's almost as if we were causing her some level of discomfort by being there (every time she'd fill our water glasses we'd politely say thank you and she'd simply walk off, never a smile, a "your welcome", nada).

That being said there is another recurrent theme in dining at Mirepoix; one which I don't fully understand. The average age of the other diners was easily 55+. Which would put us as the youngest people in the restaurant by nearly 25 years. Maybe the wait staff thought us "kids" were going to run off without paying the bill or tip. Or maybe they were afraid we didn't know what tartare was and we'd send it back. The fact was I noticed we were treated differently than the other attorneys and doctors that were there that night (we sat next to some malpractice attorneys who continued to mispronounce frites).

Either way, the restaurant was full by time we left and it appears this little 24 seat establishment has done just that... establish itself. It seems Mirepoix has a nice, local, cult following and while the chef/owner Matthew Bousquet isn't handing out the "Koolaid" to customers, he is instead dishing out inspiring French fare.

I'm under the assumption that I'm not the only one that love bacon... That being said, after a few surgeries and some down time I took it upon myself to create some clothes to honor this noble and tasty animal. All hail the pig! If you are interested, check out the new clothing line here- www.cafepress.com/EpicureanPig

One of my favorite things to do while traveling: eating. The best way to get to know a culture in my opinion is to dive head first into their food and cuisine. On a recent trip to P.V., Mexico I set about finding two of my all time favorite foods- Carnitas & cochinita pibil. The latter proved much harder to find than the first (fantastic taco stand off the main drag, specializing in pescado, took care of the carnitas craving, along with any fish taco cravings I might have had).

Cochinata pibil (or puerco pibil, depending on if your watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico) is a traditional Mexican slow-roasted pork dish from Yucatán (unfortunately we were in Puerto Vallarta making this dish harder to find). Preparation of traditional cochinita or puerco pibil involves marinating the meat in strongly acidic citrus juice, coloring it with annatto seed, and roasting the meat while it is wrapped in banana leaf.

In order to find the pibil I so desired, it required a 90 minute boat ride from our hotel to the remote area of Yalapa. The boat ride was worth it despite the serious drenching and ass bruising that occurred on the way back. Below is the receipt I've used in the past for Cochinita Pibil. It may seem like a pain in the ass to make, but I assure you, it's well worth it. And the pineapple adds a nice brightness to the dish that I think is needed.

2 1/2 tablespoons annatto seeds
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 1/2 teaspoons black peppercorns
5 whole allspice berries
5 whole cloves
1 (2-3 inch) stick cinnamon
1 habanero pepper, seeded
1/2 cup orange juice
1/3 cup lime juice
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon salt
4 garlic cloves
1/2 of a pineapple, cubed into 1 inch chunks
Dash tequilla
3 pounds boneless pork butt, cut in 2-inch squares
Banana leaves

Grind the annatto seeds to a fine powder using an electric spice grinder. Repeat with the cumin seeds, peppercorns, allspice, cinnamon and cloves.

Place the liquids, salt, garlic, habanero and powdered spices into a blender and blend well. Combine the marinade with pork chunks in a large ziplock bag. Refrigerate at least two hours or overnight.

Line a baking dish with banana leaves that have been softened over a flame or hot burner. Pour the pork and marinade into the dish, add chunks of pineapple and wrap with the leaves. Cover the pan with foil and roast in a preheated, 325 degree oven for 4 hours.

A Saturday afternoon filled with crispy, delicious pizza and cold beer- sounds like Nirvana right? Well it's pretty damn close. I met a friend of mine at the Russian River Brewery in downtown Santa Rosa. The warm wood interior and simple menu of pizza and beer makes me feel right at home. Sadly, the less than stellar service left me with flash backs of the opening scene in Reservoir Dogs where Steve Buschemi discusses the right to "not tip"... but more on that later.

I got there a few minutes before my friend, so I sat down at the bar with the intention of indulging in a pre-noon pint. Never a bad idea in my opinion, especially when the pint is called Pliny the Elder and is 8% ABV. The long wooden bar spans the length of the restaurant, but at 11am on a Saturday it is rather vacant. After waiting for 5 minutes at the bar while the bar wench or BW (the name of which I will refer to our bartender/ waitress), chatted up a few regulars. No problem, it's Saturday and I'm relatively patient... Maybe her "parched patron radar" kicked in as she finally meandered my way. I ordered my Pliny and waited.

The BW delivered the Pliny 5 minutes later as my friend Pete took up residence on the bar stool next to me. "Let the eating begin" he declared. Having recently ate a Maui Wowie pizza (ham, pineapple, bacon and tomatoes) I decide to clone that and see who reigns supreme when it comes to fruity pizza.

Fifteen minutes later a master piece emerges from the kitchen. BW sets the bubbling, salty sweet pizza in front of us with the parting words "that looks pretty good". Literally parting words... That was the last thing she said to us that day.

I dig into the pizza (burning the roof of my mouth do to lack of patience) and yes, hot damn, was it good. The crust was perfect and crunchy and the pizza had just the right amount of toppings on there so it wasn't weighed down and yet still had substance. Cheers to the guys in the kitchen.

After finishing the Wowie (aptly named I might add) and another Pliny it was time for my productive Saturday to begin. I could have sat in that bar stool all day, but responsibility (and my wife) were calling. The only problem was... we couldn't get the bill.

BW was down at the other end of the bar, chatting again as our empty plates and pints sat on the counter signaling the end of our eating excursion. Once again, we waited. Finally it appeared that she remembered that we were sitting at the opposite side of the bar. She turned, got half way down the bar and then answered her yellow Blackberry... WTF. It was like watching sand fall through an hour glass. Oh wait, no... that was her tip disappearing, not sand.

Since when is chatting on your cell phone considered work and worthy of a tip (back me up Steve Buschemi). If I pulled out my cellphone in the middle of a meeting I'd get punched in the eye by my boss.

Now it would be one thing if BW looked miserable on the phone- say, she just found out her father died or that rash on her face was something other than an acne breakout. Then I would understand. But she was enjoying her chat while I sat there and watch my day waste away, wondering if she would notice or care, that we just walked out (and for the record- I've never ditched a bill). Suddenly, like Mr. Epiphany slapped her on the ass she prints out our bill, drops it off and without a word to us, goes back to her cellphone. Wowie... We pay and leave.

I've been to the Russian River Brewery in Santa Rosa countless time and for the most part I've encountered consistently good pizza and beer. The dilema I run into is to is the dodgy service. This was not an isolated incident, sadly enough. I've been in there when it's virtually empty and I'll wait and hour for the pizza to come out. Other times it's fifteen minutes. Most of the time, when you sit down you need to prepare to kill at least an hour and a half. Is it worth the wait. If you like thin, crispy pizza and a strong brew... maybe. If you like somewhat reasonable service and a BW who actually acknowledges you are alive... I'd stay away. There is an attitude there of "stop wasting my time, I've got better things to do... like talk on my phone.".

You can find better service from a New Yorker with an attitude at NY Pie or someplace similar. It's a shame that the people could ruin such good food. Too bad they don't deliver...